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The big, gay marriage post

May 15, 2008

So same-sex marriage is legal in California.

Normally I’d be overjoyed, and I can’t say I’m not happy with the court’s (very well-written) decision, but frankly, the biggest part of me thinks, “One more down, too many to go.”

I don’t think anybody has the right to deny two consenting adults the right to marry, and the fact that one more state defecting to the side of the angels is a cause for celebration is actually rather depressing. Obviously, it’s a step in the right direction, and I’m particularly happy that even those of us who aren’t Massachusetts residents can get married.

My mother was heavily hinting earlier that we should do just that. Is it normal for a divorcee in her late 50’s to encourage her son in his early 20’s to get married as soon as possible? I find it a little weird, although certainly better than her trying to get me exorcised.

As the New York Times said a few weeks ago, gay marriage is just like straight marriage, only fewer people do it. (Lesbian marriage is another story – or at least it’s not in this one.) While I appreciate the spotlight, the basic premise bothers me. Of course gay marriage is just like straight marriage – why shouldn’t it be? The only difference is in the legality and the discrimination GLBT people face. The latter has caused a lot of us to be a little more disturbed, eccentric, or unhappy than the normal populace, I’ll admit, but not only is it not our fault, but it goes away when the discrimination is downplayed.

That’s what the Mr. Denizet-Lewis doesn’t fully take into account. Today’s gays are different from yesterday’s. (How many words can I end in “ay” in one sentence?) We’ve faced considerably better conditions than we have in a very long while, and we’re all the healthier for it. When we’re afforded the opportunity, our lives are just as boring as anyone else’s.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 15, 2008 10:51 pm

    Reminds me of the “gay marriage is just like yours, only gayer” ad campaign.

  2. Nori Ori Ori permalink
    May 15, 2008 11:40 pm

    It’s true that, within our lifetimes, the same-sex marriage “takeover” is happening way, way too slow. But hey, it’s happening. Kinda like, yknow, civil rights, and women’s rights. (And THOSE still have a way to go, oh snap!) I’m just glad it’s happening, and that it’s happening in the state where I live with all my local straights and gays and what-have-you’s. In a few years, who knows? We could have a few more. I’d be so happy if we could get a quarter of the country on board by the time I’m old and wrinkly and totally Not Hot. Not ecstatic, but glad for the slow progress. (Which may get faster if we can get a few more states to follow Mass and Cali, two of the cooler kids on the block! Booyah!)

    Yeah, I read that NYTimes article forever and a day ago. I had mixed feelings about it. It’s good that they brought a lot of positivity to the issue, but it also seemed like there were a lot of veiled barbs in there. I mean, it’s really not a news flash that people of any orientation can rush into marriage, especially when they’re young and they’ve got the option, and it’s also not a news flash that divorces happen, and sometimes should happen. We’re all people. People do dumb stuff.

    Although I do suppose that a lot of people are moronic and would tend to say things like, “See, this is why they shouldn’t get married, because their marriages are impulsive and don’t last and they’re not taking it seriously!” It’s like, shut up and calm down Cletus, and go back to cheating on your shotgun wedding wife with your baby mama on the sly.

    I dunno. I’m silly, talking from inside the bubble.

  3. lightningspark permalink
    May 16, 2008 6:56 pm

    it’s interesting… coming from the background i come from, i’m generally ostracized for thinking the way you do. the paper i used to edit ran a front-page story on a group that aims to ‘re-program’ gay teens at their parents’ behests. when i found out about that, i felt physically sick.

    the basic point, here, is that even among the religious folk (and here i raise my hand and wave), there are people who want marriage to just mean MARRIAGE. period.

    and yeah, california. it’s about goddamn time.

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