How long does it take to stop firing people?

About 11 months, apparently.

I’ve been remiss in not remarking sooner, but as expected, the Obama administration has announced it’s going to try to end the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy… eventually. They’re going to spend nearly a year reviewing the policy and planning how to end it, and frankly I’m not very impressed. It seems to me there’s not much more to it than ceasing to fire service members based on their sexual orientation, and applying the same rules about dating to members of the same sex. Gays and lesbians have been paired up with members of the same sex in situations like living quarters and locker rooms since time immemorial (or since the invention of locker rooms, in the latter case) and the earth is still standing. I personally am still very close with my college roommate; I even introduced him to his girlfriend!

Frank Rich had a fantastic op-ed piece in the New York Times today about how the repeal not only the right thing to do, but it’s also a great opportunity for the Democrats to make anti-LGBT politicians come out of the closet about their bigotry. It will be fascinating to see how this all plays out in the coming months.

That said, for all the buzz there’s been in the media there have been relatively few people who have openly opposed the proposed change. Of course, not only is popular opinion very strongly on the side of a repeal, but logic as well. Gay and lesbian service members have been able to serve openly in numerous other countries with no ill effects, and there is a complete lack of credible evidence to suggest anything else would happen here, which makes sense since we’re in every other sector of society as well and have yet to bring about catastrophe.

That makes it all the more mystifying that we’re going to spend so long investigating the policy, and there’s little to guarantee that will be a fair review. Disregarding the fact that popular opinion should never be a reason to discriminate, lesbians and gays in the military won’t be able to speak up without risking their careers. As The Economist put it:

(Defense Secretary Robert) Gates says the task-force will interview soldiers to find out how a repeal would affect their morale. But no gay soldier will be able to weigh in without risking dismissal.

I certainly don’t mean to seem like I’m completely against the administration’s plan, but DADT is such a ridiculous policy that I see no reason not to end it immediately. There is literally no rational basis for it at all, and this ludicrous rule has ruined the careers of a sickening number of service members—over 13,000. While I have absolutely zero interest in joining the military (14 years of a Quaker education will do that to you) I still shudder to think that the federal government uses a group’s minority status as a weapon against it. And they’ll keep doing that at least for another 11 months. You’ll have to forgive me for not doing back-flips.

Obama gives us a nod, at least

The Obama action figure who's sat on my desk since his inauguration

I should first say tonight’s speech was the first State of the Union address I’ve watched in its entirety in quite a few years. As many faults as I may find with the Obama administration, I still find it refreshing to be able to see the president on TV and not have to change the channel immediately or risk hearing a comment that makes me cringe.

Throughout the speech, I was waiting for the moment Obama would mention the LGBT community (though tonight, really only the LG). As time wore on and he kept seeming to swerve away from us at the last minute, I felt like I could see the spots in his speech where Don’t Ask Don’t Tell had been removed. I actually came to chant “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell!” at my screen, and eventually my magic words kicked in and he announced that he will work toward the repeal of the homophobic law this year.

That’s not much, but it’s progress. After promising to be a “fierce advocate” for LGBT rights, he’s done very little since his inauguration. He signed the Matthew Shepard Act, but his administration has fought extending rights to same-sex partners of federal employees and the Department of Justice has issued some truly horrible defenses of the “Defense” of Marriage Act that were widely decried. And while he could end DADT with the stroke of a pen on an executive order—just as he’s creating a bipartisan budget committee despite Congress—he’s refused to do so on this issue, instead continuing to let qualified members of the armed forces lose their positions for being honest about who they are.

Obama has said he wants to make it a lasting change through the legislature, but it certainly seems as if he’s unwilling to expend the political capital it takes to defend an unpopular minority. If the president is serious about moving this country forward, it’s time for him to use his power to truly effect change and give us all equal rights under the law.

ETA: Let Obama know what you think through the Courage Campaign. Deadline to respond is Monday, Feb. 1.

Another column on marriage in NJ, plus the Prop 8 trial

I have another opinion piece up over at CentralJersey.com and in several of the group’s newspapers this week, this time about what it was like to see my own civil rights voted down. Here’s a sample:

Beyond all the legal implications, it’s a horrible feeling to know you’re second-class. Few people even know what it means to be “civil unioned,” but everyone knows what it means that our friends are married. Asking, “Will you join with me in a union that’s civilly recognized?” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as, “Will you marry me?” It’s clear segregation, and we’re on the losing end.

Read the rest over here, or buy The Princeton Packet (Tuesday edition) or The Register-News (on Thursday).

I took this shot at the NJ Senate vote in Trenton on Jan. 7, the moment after it was announced the bill failed.

In other marriage news, the Prop 8 trial in California has begun. There’s a fascinating live blog of it over at prop8trialtracker.com, and the log from day 1 is fascinating. Here’s one tidbit posted during the lunch recess:

[UPDATE] 12:47 It’s hard to think while this goes on. I’ve never before been on trial, but today every gay or lesgbian person in the country is on trial. The testimony brings up all of that “stuff” that I keep pretending I’ve left behind. I grew up near Knoxville knowing I was gay, but never wanting to be. I dated girls, just like Jeff [one of the plaintiffs] did. I hid from myself. I became an Orthodox Jew in LA and almost got married because I did not want to be gay. When Boies [a lawyer for the plaintiffs] asked Jeff if he’d be in a more loving, stable relationship if he married a woman, it was not a throw-away. That’s what the NOM [National Organization for Marriage] folks want you to believe. They want you to believe that if Jeff or me or so many others of us who were born homosexual would just marry a woman, the world would be a better place.

And of course let’s not forget The New York Times’ write-up.

Marriage defeated in NJ; activists to sue

We pushed the bill as far as it could go, but the tide turned against us after the election, and the New Jersey Senate defeated the marriage equality bill today, with 14 in favor, 20 against, three abstaining and two absent. There’s a guide to everyone’s votes over at NJ.com. Garden State Equality quickly announced it will join with Lambda Legal to sue the state to achieve marriage equality, and in a twist of fate, even thanked Sen. Gerald Cardinale (R-Bergen), an outspoken opponent of equality whose comments GSE says will help the case for equality in the courts. Read all about it here (NY Times), here (Star-Ledger) , or here (Advocate).

The day was exhausting, but while I need more time to form my thoughts on the matter, I can at least offer photos and videos, as well as the text of Goldstein’s full remarks—under the cut.

NJ senate to vote on marriage Thursday

It’s finally been scheduled — the New Jersey Senate will vote on marriage equality this Thursday. It’s been a long, long road to get there, but this is the first time the full legislature in the state will take up the vote. Garden State Equality is once again rallying, and this absolutely has to be our biggest show of force yet. Legislators need to know that we will hold them accountable for their actions, which directly impact our civil rights.

The lobby day will begin at 10:30 a.m. Thursday, Jan. 7 on the steps of the statehouse, 125 West State Street. Anyone who can come earlier should, because there’ll be plenty of setup to be done.

For those who really can’t attend, there are still things you can do. First, call your senator and tell them you support same sex marriage and want them to as well! To do that, go here and look up your state (not federal) officials. Then go here to find their e-mail address and send them a message that way as well. There are tips on how to word your thoughts, though we’re past the point of asking for meetings, so skip that. The anti-gay side will be bombarding the legislators with their message, and we need to let every senator know we exist and need our rights now.

ETA: You can also send a fax to your senator, an important tool that was effective in Vermont. You don’t even need a fax machine!

Allard update

Out in Jersey has an update on the condition of Jesse Allard, the young Pennsylvania man who says he was brutally beaten in Butler, NJ after complimenting a guy on his coat as he went out to a bar for his birthday (see previous post for details).

From the article:

[Allard] was left with severe injuries to his knees and the possibility of not walking again. Allard reports that anti-gay epithets, including the word “fag” were used during the assault.

Investigating Detective Colleen Pascale of the Butler Police Dept. has, according to Allard, retrieved a video of the car running him over from the security camera of a nearby business and the car has already been found. Pascale is seeking witnesses to the attack and Allard is hopeful that a witness can be found to corroborate the use of homophobic language. Corroboration is necessary to classify the attack as an anti-gay bias crime.

At Chilton Memorial Hospital in Pompton Lakes tonight Allard is awaiting evaluation by a specialist to determine his prognosis.

I’ll be sure to let everyone know if I find a fund to aid in his recovery, since he’s uninsured, or any other way to help. In the mean time, there’s nothing wrong with letting the Trackside Bar and Grill, whose owner is alleged to have participated in the attack, how you feel. Google says their number is (973) 838-8044‎.

Why I’m afraid to go out sometimes

I like to tell myself when my boyfriend and I go out that there’s no reason to worry, because we both live in relatively tolerant states, and it is 2010, after all. No one would ever assault someone just for being gay, right?

Unfortunately, that’s what one Pennsylvania man says happened to him when he was in Butler, NJ celebrating his 23rd birthday. From The Times-Leader, via Towleroad:

Jesse Allard, 23, of Stillwater, suffered arm and leg injuries and was hospitalized in Paterson after the alleged assault on Dec. 26.

In an interview Wednesday on WWOR-TV, Secaucus, N.J., Allard said he went to the Trackside Bar & Grill in Butler, to celebrate his birthday. Inside he complimented a patron on the coat he was wearing and that led to the alleged assault.

“He called me a fag and he told me don’t ever touch him again,” Allard told television reporter Mike Gilliam, who interviewed him in a hospital bed. “So I was just like, ‘Well, I’m sorry I’m just complimenting your coat,’ ” Allard said.

I actually make it a point to never compliment a man’s clothing unless I know him well, which is starting to look like a smart move on my part. The reporter from My 9 News (video here), who broke the story, actually asked Allard point-blank, “Were you trying to come onto him at all?” (he wasn’t). The Times-Leader reporter quoted that.

The question implies that if a man shows interested in another man, then it’s okay to call him a slur, drag him outside and beat him up and smash his phone while your buddy holds him, and then run him over with a car, which is what Allard says happened to him. The question brings to mind the “gay panic” defense, in which people commit horrible crimes against LGBT people and then say they “couldn’t help it” because they just “lost control” after realizing the other person wasn’t just like them. It’s a disgusting defense that’s long past antiquated, and nobody should be referring to it with anything other than contempt, or perhaps morbid and historical curiosity.

Poor Allard even says an off-duty policeman said he wasn’t working and refused to help, after which he was hit by a jeep. He’s uninsured and awaiting surgery. Some birthday, huh?

The Butler Police Department (tellingly?) hasn’t answered any questions so far. You’d think someone like the chief or public information officer could find it in themselves to make some kind of statement over the weekend, but it looks like we’ll have to wait until at least Monday morning.

I’ve certainly never experienced anything like that, but people have certainly given me lip and threatening looks, and each instance of this kind of hatred makes that a little more worrisome.

This is all hitting at a particularly unfortunate time, since the state legislature only has a few days left to act on the marriage equality bill before it’ll be too late to get it to Gov. Corzine’s desk before he leaves. I can only hope that, should Allard’s allegations be substantiated, the incident will be investigated as a hate crime (which, thanks to the Matthew Shepard Act, can be done by federal officials if local officials choose not to).

NJ vote delayed to allow more testimony

The vote on the marriage equality bill in the full New Jersey Senate has been delayed to give the Assembly time to hear testimony as well. The move was prompted by a letter from bill sponsors Senators Loretta Weinberg and Raymond Lesniak Both houses need to pass the bill for it to become law, so this is fantastic news. As BlueJersey puts it:

Sen. Codey agrees to postpone the vote, at the request of sponsors Weinberg and Lesniak, until the Assembly Judiciary Committee has had time to hold hearing on the bill. Codey: I understand their desire to make sure this bill receives the thorough attention it deserves and therefore I have agreed to postpone tomorrow’s vote until further notice.

Click through to read to the full statement from Sen. Weinberg and Sen. Lesniak, as provided by Garden State Equality.

Linking to myself

In this week’s Register-News I have a Reporter’s Notebook column on the marriage equality debate in New Jersey. I’d quote it, but that seems a bit too self-referential, particularly since the bottom of the column links to this blog.

In related news, I was heartbroken to have to leave the car in the middle of this morning’s Radio Times on WHYY, the Philadelphia NPR affiliate.

Listen to Radio Times with Marty Moss-Coane from Dec. 9, 2009

Marriage moves to full Senate vote!

New Jersey’s Senate Judiciary Committee just approved 7-6 to send the marriage equality bill to a vote in the full Senate! That’s a more narrow margin than I’d like to see, but dozens of residents testified for the afternoon and most of the evening, and I’d like to thank everyone who gave witness to the reasons why we all deserve the same rights.

It’s unfortunate that my own senator, Senator Jennifer Beck (R-12), voted no on the bill, and she’ll be hearing from me about it. I encourage every marriage equality supporter in New Jersey to contact your state senator and let them know they need to support this bill when it comes before them. Leave them a message tonight, and call them every day until equality has passed!